Thursday, March 1, 2018

Raising your daughter in her tween years

Daughters are the precious gift for parents especially dads. Raising daughters is filled with so much fun and laughter. However, tween times is a bit different. It takes much more than you think to develop a special bond with your daughter in tween years.
Raising daughters happily

Your once upon a sweet, little girl can be bitter, moody, drama-queen or self-centered at times.  Nevertheless, she will be an affectionate and mature daughter at other times, to your surprise. Your daughter may not be aware of her mood swings and changes in nature as all these are result of hormones and her newly-discovered status about herself. Despite of this, tween times of your daughter can be a memorable time to cherish for years to come.

It has been a pleasant journey with my daughter. She is very jovial and enthusiastic by nature, spreading laughter wherever she goes. However, it happens when she is not able to take certain things in her stride, gets angry at small issues or just wants to have her own way.

Friday, February 9, 2018

7 tips for parents of tweens and preteens

Raising kids in their initial years is quite different from when kids touch the double digit figure. You can experience the change in their behavior, moods, choices and gradual physical changes. Kids expect more independence and privacy. They think and react differently. They don't want to be treated like kids either.

Parenting the tweens and preteens

This transition phase from kid to tween and then in preteen, needs more attention. As the age progresses of your child, parenting approach needs to be adjusted too accordingly.

So, what can be done so that your tween/ preteen remains connected to you closely. How to handle this transition period and maintain strong relationship? 

Here we have few tips for parents of tweens and preteens for a smoother transition period:

One-to-one time with your tween

Spend some personal time with your son or daughter. Go for evening walk, playing, shopping or just chatting about anything. It can work like daily 15 minutes with Mom, weekly quality time with Dad or any other way which allows kids to open up with both parents individually. The more you listen and less you preach, keeps your communication channel open with your tween.

Participate in activities with them

Their interests are changing- more time on video games, action movies or sports channel. Be with them and participate. Play that video game with them, know what attracts them. Discuss the latest issues that interests them. That ways you will remain updated about their views and feelings.
Let them enjoy their 'me-time'

Let the tween enjoy some private time.
There was a time when your cute daughter would run up to you and shared her every little thing with you. However, in tweens or preteens, she may respond differently at times, demanding private time for herself. Accept that, let her be with herself. Avoid interpreting each situation and feeling offended when your child keeps things to herself.

Understand- Its their hormones to blame

Your tween may not be able to express himself in calm ways. There can be mood swings, tantrums and impulsive reactions which even they can't understand or explain. Distractions, attraction towards opposite sex and preoccupation are just so natural in this age, all of us have gone through this phase, isn't it? 

Give them time and space. Talk about the issues they are concerned about. Let them vent out their emotions, whether its anger, irritation, stress, frustration or helplessness, which is extremely important. Listen out everything. Assure them you understand their situation and your love is unconditional despite of their unpredictable behaviour. That ways you can have great connection with your kids in tween or preteen age.

Act, not over-react

Your son picked up a fight with kids in neighborhood and blame them for the mess. You instantly call the parents to keep a check on their kids.

Can you see something missing in this situation? Instead of  understanding what was the situation all about, you quickly jumped to conclusion and reacted accordingly. Such response to the situations does not help kids in tweens to learn to respond in a better way.

Discuss age-appropriate issues with your tween

Soon the kids will experience physical changes in them. They will be curious about such changes and may be embarrassed at times. Its high time to talk about puberty. Explain your daughter about change in her body shape and first periods. Similarly, your son in tween has some queries. Discuss with him honestly so that he is prepared for the changes beforehand.

Consider your response towards older kids

Parenting the elder kid and tween

The way you handle the matters related to your older kid, sets the way for siblings as well. Too much liberty or excessive supervision, in both cases, tweens get the clue what to expect from parents. Setting a good example of dealing with elder children certainly helps in raising the tween/ preteen in right direction.

Related post: Help your elder child to welcome the new one!

Sunday, December 31, 2017

Empower your bond with your growing kids in easy steps


Do you feel you and your kids are living in different zones? Do you realize that you are short of time to connect with your growing kids like you used to? And you seriously want to do something about it to strengthen the magical bond between you and your kids despite of all those hectic schedules, household chores, hobby classes, extra curricular activities of kids, social obligations and so on.

Here are easy steps to EMPOWER your bond with your growing kids:

Five minute wonder: Even five minutes of one-to-one talking with your kid  daily can be so refreshing for both of you and it's not that difficult to trace those moments. You can have a light conversation with your child when you drop her or pick up from school. Else if she is going for a hobby class or for a regular doctor visit, simply inquire about her progress or about her day, will allow her to open up with you. To make it more special, give her a nice hug when you meet her after her school and you can see the renewed connection.

Leave notes for kids: Whenever you feel you won't be able to find time to connect with them, ensure that your absence does not sadden them. Make notes with cute messages, inspiring words which will warm their hearts and place them on their study table, bed or on the door. In case, your growing child has mobile phone then you can share messages and stay in touch.


Wishlist:  Ask your kids to prepare a list that they want to do with you which probably, they have missed doing with you lately. Prepare your own list as well and compare. Most probably, you will find a couple of things common between theirs' and yours' lists. It can be  playing board game with you, reading out story or even making a dish together in kitchen.

Timer, please: Now this one is interesting to quickly steal some moments. You have a couple of tasks to complete and your daughter wants to play with you. What you can do is to set a timer of say 15 minutes in which you would complete a set of tasks and your kid will finish her tasks as well. Play some good music, set the timer and start executing your tasks. It will be a great way to encourage kids to finish their work and enjoy together.

Share your thoughts: Make it a point to share any incident or funny thought with your kid daily. Crack a joke, narrate your childhood memories or may be discuss things happening around- that's an interesting way to connect with your kid and understand what's going in his mind and his life.

Lend your ears patiently: No matter how important is your email or how boring the incident is for you, listen out to him as whatever he is sharing is important for him and even more important is the person to whom he is sharing.  Your patience of few moments can earn you the bond of lifetime!

Related post: A gift for lifetime for kids

Practice gratitude at home:  Take a moment to thank your children for keeping things back at their place, for making their beds or anything else even if its very little. It makes a lot of difference for them as you acknowledge their contribution and their efforts. In addition, you can see the same habit being infused in them naturally.

Monthly affair:  Frequent outings with kids may be a difficult thing to plan but you can ensure once a month fun filled day in any form. It can be watching movie together, camping in the backyard, traveling, playing under the sun, shopping together, or anything else that gives a chance to have exclusive time with kids.

Thursday, September 21, 2017

Diet tips to ease anxiety in kids


Anxiety and stress are no longer restricted to adults. These seem to be prevalent among young children and teenagers. The reasons for the increase in everyday anxiety in kids and teenagers can be several such as parental control, family atmosphere, peer pressure, exam stress, school performance, health issues, some kind of phobia/ fears, etc. However, simple changes in diet can defuse the everyday stress.

Here are diet tips to ease anxiety in kids:

Omega 3 Fatty acids: Foods rich in Omega 3 fatty acid eases anxiety as they activate production of serotonin levels. Examples of omega 3 fatty acid foods are flax seeds, tofu, and fish. Include these foods in the daily diet of your child and help him calm down.


Vitamin B foods: Deficiency of Vitamin B can lead to irritable behavior, confusion, and anxiety. Foods rich in Vitamin B are ideal to counter such issues. Therefore, go for eggs, whole grain foods, citrus fruits, and almonds to fulfill the requirements of Vitamin B in kids.

Foods rich in Tryptophan: Tryptophan naturally relaxes the mind by producing neurotransmitters such as serotonin. It is helpful in regulating sleep and mood. Foods such as turkey, oats, soy, and sesame seeds should be given to anxious kids to relax them.
Water: Nothing can beat the power of water to de-stress and relax the mind as well as the body. So, encourage your kids to drink plenty of water on a regular basis as it will keep dehydration induced anxiety at bay.

Probiotics: Probiotics such as yogurt restricts harmful bacteria growth and promotes the healthy immune system as well as gut. This ensures reduced stress and anxiety levels.

Avoid fried foods, caffeine, and too sugary foods especially when the child is feeling anxiety. Instead, focus on fruits and vegetables that nourish kids with ample of nutrients.

Besides, kids may tend to overeat when stressed out. Keep healthy foods/ recipes ready so that they reach out to only nutrient-rich foods. Simultaneously, engaging them in indoor or outdoor activities will also help to reduce their stress levels.

Everyday stress can happen but now, you know the above diet tips to ease anxiety in kids.

Related post:

Benefit of good sleep for kids

Love shrinks stress levels in kids

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

7 Steps to build Confidence of Your Child

What would you do if you find your growing child is losing confidence? Praise her minutest of actions or shower her with gifts that are actually not required?

That is not going to help much as the child will depend upon you to feel good about herself or may be, she will consider herself above others which is not healthy either. So what all can be done that help her stay confident?


Here are simple and easy ways to build confidence of your teenage daughter or son:

Let her make choices

Avoid taking each and every decision on behalf of your kid. Let her decide what works best for her out of certain options such as a 10 year old can be given a chance to decide what dress to buy for her birthday instead of telling what will be good for her. That will boost her confidence a lot.

Let her follow her hobbies/ interests

Your child is interested in theatre or sports then let her join classes and help her to continue her passion. Even if it means rescheduling your day! This will develop her self-esteem and inspire her to accomplish what she started.

Let her have a say in family matters!

On occasions such as Christmas or New Year party, ask kids to give their inputs with respect to decoration, card making, menu, her guest list,etc. This will make them feel important and of course, boost their self-esteem. In daily routine too, give your teen space to decide on usual matters and cooperate in little things such as cooking, tidying up the living room,etc

Allow your teen to take risks

Being overprotective does not let kid take risks and learn from her own experiences. Therefore, allow her to take small risks in your presence. My daughter's friend got stuck in lift and from that moment my 8 year old daughter was scared of going alone in the lift. But I encouraged her and assured that I would stand and watch in front of elevator till she reaches safely. That worked for us and now she confidently takes the elevator alone.

Help her to recover from failures

When she fails to perform as per the expectations of her teachers or peers, her confidence may dip. At that time your words of encouragement and your opinion about the situation can do a lot to build her confidence again. Remind her of her past accomplishments, beautiful experiences and pictures that reflect her positives.

Model healthy self-confidence in front of kids

Your own opinion about yourself and your response to various situations shape the mindset of your kids. Therefore, watch out your actions as you are always monitored by your kids. They are going to follow your footsteps.

Unconditional love

If your acceptance goes beyond the grades and performance of your child then come what may, your child will reflect positive attitude in everything he does. So, love unconditionally even if he fails to perform better or take wrong decisions.

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Warning signals your child is low on confidence

Teenager with low confidence stays aloof.

Low confidence in your teenager can restrict him/her to a shell. He may not be able to lead a healthy social life or tap his inner talent which he can otherwise do if he has faith in himself.

If you want to expand the horizon of your teenager child and desire to help him lead a happy life then check the probable signs of low confidence in your teenager boy or girl. Only if you are able to identify these warning signals, you can give the right direction to your child and make him more confident for anything and everything that comes his way.

Here are warning signals that your child has low confidence:

  • He avoids meeting/ communicating with his friends and class fellows; tries to stay aloof.
  • He avoids participating in challenges and competitions due to fear of failure.
  • He gives in to the demands of his peer group and is not able to say "no".
  • He looks for approval for his decisions and actions everytime because he is not confident.
  • He does not finish a task as soon as he feels difficulty and quits without trying enough.
  • He does not take initiative and tries to hide himself when situation arises to take responsibility.
  • He/ she blames people or situations for his own incompetency.
  • He has mood swings ranging from irritable behaviour, anxiety, hopelessness, aloofness and sadness.
  • He is self-critical and uses negative words for himself such as loser, fool, etc
  • He either rebels without a reason or is overly helpful to seek approval.
  • He tries to seek attention of people around him through unreasonable actions.
  • He tries to control people around him. 
  • He gets into drinking, drugs, tobacco,etc.

The teenager may have some of the above symptoms which clearly indicate low self-esteem in him. Once it is established, parents can look for possible reasons and ways to deal with the low self-esteem in their child.

Related post:

Friday, December 9, 2016

Are you hurting self-esteem of your growing kid?


While it's okay to feel low some times but feeling low about oneself continuously is not a good sign especially among growing kids. Sometimes even as parents we can't estimate the causes of low self-esteem in kids. There can be several reasons that make a child less confident and sadly, at times, parents contribute to low self-confidence in their own child.

Now when a kid has deficient self-esteem then it needs to be rectified before it has severe effect on the psyche and life of the kid. The first step to handle low self-esteem in your growing kid is to ascertain probable reasons of the same. Find out if you as a parent has done or undone something that is hurting the confidence of your child.

Let us check out probable causes of low self-esteem and make sure your tween is not going through the same:

When kid feels neglected:

Absence of personal attention and support of parents may lead to low self-esteem in the kid. Whether parents are occupied in work or over engaged on social media, providing quality time to kids is mandatory to make them feel secure. However, if you can’t keep your hands off from your laptop or mobile while your kid is eager to share his story then he may feel neglected causing dip in confidence.

When you over interfere:

If you are one of those who make sure to instruct their tween now and then or check what they are doing all the time, then the child may feel you don’t trust his abilities. Your over indulgence in his every decision and action may erode his confidence to work and achieve independently. So better, keep a check on your over-caring attitude!

When you forget to appreciate enough:

You remember to pinpoint their mistakes but often forget to appreciate their small achievements or endeavours. Instead of showing the right path, if you become overly critical of his actions or use harsh words for the child, the result is your teen feels he is not good enough.
This is not what you want to happen, right?

When you compare with peers

To boost confidence of your child, you compare her to siblings or peers, but it backfired! Constant comparison of performance or behaviour of your child with others or pushing your kid to become like others will definitely cause a serious damage to her self-esteem. Check this habit before it destroys the self-esteem of your child!

When you do not respect:

Mocking their behaviour in front of your friends or spelling out their weaknesses with other adults disgusts your child. When you try to prove how your child is silly, not good enough or bad at something, he assumes that he is not worthy for his parents.

When you give up on your child:

                                                         Image result for teenager and parent sad

When you give up the hope that your teenager can improve, he also gives up his hope, you know. Your discouraging attitude and words has a deep negative effect on him that may not be reversible.

So before you expect your child to be responsible, sensible, hardworking or any thing else, check if you have any of the above habits that can damage his self-esteem!

Related post:  Raise happy and optimistic kids