Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Appreciate your child often

Appreciation is the desire of every human being. Everybody wishes to be appreciated and acknowledged for their deeds. The same rule applies to children. A child is delighted and motivated if he or she is appreciated for good behavior or action. A genuine praise induces the child to continue the good deed.

Appreciation inculcates in child the difference between the right action and the wrong one. He or she then understands what kind of actions is expected from him or her. It also builds up the confidence and self esteem of the child. Simple words like “well done” makes the child happy and stimulated to do better. He or she will make effort to follow the right action in order to get attention and affection of the parents.

Most of the times, it is the behavior of the parents which may or may not trigger the child to do better or behave appropriately. Indifference on the part of parents lowers the self esteem of the latter. The child would then do everything (which you may not approve!) to seek the attention of his parents. Therefore it is better to pay attention to your child at the right time and acknowledge his efforts.

Garvit always keeps his books back in the shelf after reading them. It was not so before. But it was continuous attention and recognition of his parents for every good act that he developed this habit. Every time he keeps his things well in place he gets a hug with appreciation like, “you have done a great job, my dear.” These words proved to be magical for him and he repeats the right action.

Another way to appreciate a child is to provide his favorite thing if he achieves certain level. For example if he displays good social manners at a social gathering then he may be rewarded with his favorite chocolate. In case the child performs well in guitar classes, he can be rewarded with his favorite toy. All these are very small but effective motivational tools for children.

Appreciating other children for good behavior at times also inspires children to repeat the good action in order to get appreciation of their parents. Children wants love and for that they may go far to get it.

Parents may also adopt points system in which points are given for good action and points may be deducted for each unapproved act. The chart of the same may be placed on the wall for easy view. Against those points the child can be awarded some gift. This activity shall act as instant encouragement to the child to obtain the gift as well as appreciation from the parent.

Appreciation is the valuable method in building the character of a child. Reprimanding the child or neglecting his accomplishment can make him irresponsible and ill mannered. On the other hand, appreciation will definitely prove to be a beneficial tool for child development.


  1. Good analysis of child psychology.

  2. Wow. Very insightful article. It totally makes Sence. It is so easy to get discouraged and lash out on your children when they are misbehaving but I never think to say nice things to them when they are behaving. Thanks. Definitely going to give it a try

    1. Thanks Amanda. It is very true that we forget to appreciate the little positive things of life. The same thing we do with kids. But it pays to appreciate and acknowledge the good acts of kids.

  3. While I agree with and have put into practice all of these things, reward charts and praising good behaviour, I would say that children are clever and just rewarding good behaviour isn't enough, as my daughter will try to get rewards or treats at any available opportunity. The difficult part is not rewarding the good stuff i find, it's trying to stop the habitual nagging that comes with a mix of over-tiredness and wanting things. For example she wanted two puddings, if I give in she'll want some other delay tactic before bedtime and if I put my foot down she'll make my life hell and be in bed late and be over-tired and more likely to carry it on which she did this morning! AAARGH! It'll blow over soon I guess..

  4. Hi Shop Smart,
    Certainly kids are much smarter and they provide ample of opportunities to their parents to improve their communication skills... u can not surely take them for granted:)) If her demand is not too out of the way or wrong then it is better to agree immediately, I also learned this thing with difficulty but there is no harm in doing so! secondly, U can explain your point when she is in fun mood, use animated/ child like voice and tell her what happens when she throws a fit or when u r extremely tired... u may also make up a story that matches your life and can tell some morale of the story at the end... this one I have tried on my daughter, she is extremely smart and can imitate adults very fast. but she loves stories which are mostly spontaneously told by me purposely!! this phase will surely fade giving way to some other phase, ha ha ha.. so keep yourself ready every time... happy parenting!

  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

  6. Hi Deepti,
    This is my first visit to your blog thru MBC and it appears quite insightful. Will be visiting again soon.

    I too have a couple of sites and blogs. Check them out when u hv time.


    1. Hi Priya,
      Thanks for your comments and I would surely visit your blog and am looking forward to more interactions with you in future...
      have a good day!!


Reinforce your bond with your Mother

                                                                Cherish Mother-son relationship on this Mother's Day Your mother&...