Friday, January 14, 2011

Forgive and forget your child’s mistakes

“To err is human and to forgive is divine.”

We have often heard this saying but practiced seldom. Mostly the mistake becomes too prominent in parent’s vision than the feeling with which the action is done. You must have observed children at many times try to behave like their parents and elders but end up making a mess. We as parents are too obsessed with fault finding that we tend to ignore the genuine effort made by the child to learn new things!

Like elders, the kids try to do their things on their own. In their effort to clean their room, they might break some fragile object and get hurt. Now a common reaction of parent is to stop him from cleaning and scold him for the damage. But an in depth view of the situation will reveal the feeling of the child to help his parent and get appreciated in return. The first situation can discourage the child for future. While a more compassionate situation would be to go ahead and demonstrate the child the way the task can be accomplished with minimum mistakes.

A joint effort of the child and parent provides happy learning experience to the former. Children feel attracted to new things and try to experiment with them. While they experiment they might damage the object of their interest. Like, a new camera may attract a kid. And he wishes to operate it so that he can take pictures of his sibling. Instead of scolding him, the parent can help him to take few snaps so that his desire is fulfilled under supervision and without any loss. That ways he can learn faster a new concept with confidence.

Sometimes we parents just expect too much from children. The latter may not be able to carry that burden of expectation and may feel victimized and less motivated to try something new. A simple statement like” you are good for nothing” or “can't you do such a simple thing” erode the self esteem of the child. One needs to understand that the child tries to do his best possible. It just happens that he or she may get distracted or not enough driven to complete the task successfully. The support of parent not only motivates the child but it also makes him emotionally secure that they are loved in spite of their failings or mistakes.

Your reaction to the child's mistakes can transform his behavior. A strict and impatient attitude can make child run away from his or responsibility and may hamper his interest to learn. On the other hand, a supportive and forgiving environment facilitates the child to learn from his mistakes and learn faster.

Children learn faster and acquire new skills quickly in comparison to elders. If they are given the right guidance and freedom to make a mess they will certainly prove to be fast learners. My two and a half year old daughter refuses to take help from me for her lunch. Initially, I was scared of spilling and spoiling her dress. But slowly I rectified my attitude and instead I show her how to hold the spoon correctly. With a nice example of her mother to learn from, my little daughter has learned to eat on her own with care.


  1. It reminded me the story " BARE BHAI SAHAB" of great hindi writer Munshi Prem chand which also taught instead of preaching any thing first follow the same yourself.

  2. This a one of the perfect article



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