Friday, February 9, 2018

7 tips for parents of tweens and preteens

Raising kids in their initial years is quite different from when kids touch the double digit figure. You can experience the change in their behavior, moods, choices and gradual physical changes. Kids expect more independence and privacy. They think and react differently. They don't want to be treated like kids either.

Parenting the tweens and preteens

This transition phase from kid to tween and then in preteen, needs more attention. As the age progresses of your child, parenting approach needs to be adjusted too accordingly.

So, what can be done so that your tween/ preteen remains connected to you closely. How to handle this transition period and maintain strong relationship? 

Here we have few tips for parents of tweens and preteens for a smoother transition period:

One-to-one time with your tween

Spend some personal time with your son or daughter. Go for evening walk, playing, shopping or just chatting about anything. It can work like daily 15 minutes with Mom, weekly quality time with Dad or any other way which allows kids to open up with both parents individually. The more you listen and less you preach, keeps your communication channel open with your tween.

Participate in activities with them

Their interests are changing- more time on video games, action movies or sports channel. Be with them and participate. Play that video game with them, know what attracts them. Discuss the latest issues that interests them. That ways you will remain updated about their views and feelings.
Let them enjoy their 'me-time'

Let the tween enjoy some private time.
There was a time when your cute daughter would run up to you and shared her every little thing with you. However, in tweens or preteens, she may respond differently at times, demanding private time for herself. Accept that, let her be with herself. Avoid interpreting each situation and feeling offended when your child keeps things to herself.

Understand- Its their hormones to blame

Your tween may not be able to express himself in calm ways. There can be mood swings, tantrums and impulsive reactions which even they can't understand or explain. Distractions, attraction towards opposite sex and preoccupation are just so natural in this age, all of us have gone through this phase, isn't it? 

Give them time and space. Talk about the issues they are concerned about. Let them vent out their emotions, whether its anger, irritation, stress, frustration or helplessness, which is extremely important. Listen out everything. Assure them you understand their situation and your love is unconditional despite of their unpredictable behaviour. That ways you can have great connection with your kids in tween or preteen age.

Act, not over-react

Your son picked up a fight with kids in neighborhood and blame them for the mess. You instantly call the parents to keep a check on their kids.

Can you see something missing in this situation? Instead of  understanding what was the situation all about, you quickly jumped to conclusion and reacted accordingly. Such response to the situations does not help kids in tweens to learn to respond in a better way.

Discuss age-appropriate issues with your tween

Soon the kids will experience physical changes in them. They will be curious about such changes and may be embarrassed at times. Its high time to talk about puberty. Explain your daughter about change in her body shape and first periods. Similarly, your son in tween has some queries. Discuss with him honestly so that he is prepared for the changes beforehand.

Consider your response towards older kids

Parenting the elder kid and tween

The way you handle the matters related to your older kid, sets the way for siblings as well. Too much liberty or excessive supervision, in both cases, tweens get the clue what to expect from parents. Setting a good example of dealing with elder children certainly helps in raising the tween/ preteen in right direction.

Related post: Help your elder child to welcome the new one!

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